Four lessons from my two best friends.

Every person that I have interacted with in life has changed my life in some way shape or form.

That said, besides my family members, there are two friends - Amanda and Nathan - that I think have made the biggest impact on who I am today. This is a thank you to them because appreciation kept inside always stays the same size while releasing it out to the world gives it a chance to spread love, energy, and other good vibes to so many other people.

Note: I said two best friends here but because I know that she would give me a hard time if I didn't specify this, let the record show that Amanda is my best friend 🙃

I'll start with the two main lessons that I have learned from her friendship. Small things, but sometimes it is the smallest things that matter the most 🙂

Lesson A-1: How to be true to myself and care a lot less about what other people think

Through most of my life, I would describe myself as a people pleaser. I cared a bunch of what others thought of me and most of my actions were taken to avoid rocking the boat. Because of that, I didn’t have much of an identity of my own as it would depend on the people with whom I was interacting.

My freshman year of college, I met Amanda. She knew what she wanted and was always direct to the point. Honestly, we didn’t like each other for quite some time.

But from those characteristics that used to really bother me (I was so damn sensitive and bothered by things other people did and said) I have learned so much from over the last 9 years of friendship.

I became more assertive and decisive, two attributes that can be practiced and improved upon. With that newfound confidence, I started exploring my true interests and passions, eventually starting many of them disregarding (for the most part) what I imagined others would think (in hindsight, I see now that most people really don’t give one sh*t about what I’m doing). And my life has opened up from here where I am following an internal compass far more than a path that I imagine others expect of me.

I still have a ways to go, but if the progress of the next few years is anything like the last few (or better yet they compound), I know good times are ahead.

Lesson A-2: The world is a big place and exploring it is a worthwhile endeavor

Growing up, I was #blessed to travel with my parents to work conferences and even had a few trips abroad with my violin group, but traveling wasn’t all that important to me. I did not have aspirations to really see the world.

Amanda was different. She did not travel simply because of circumstance, it was her priority. If there was a place that she wanted to see, she did what she needed to make it happen.

I had never met anyone like that before. When it came to travel, she was fearless. She was independent.

I wanted to be like her.

Because of her example, I prioritized exploring the big, beautiful Earth and my life has changed as a result.

I have met some incredible people, many of whom I still keep in touch with to this day.

I have pushed my comfort zone to new limits over and over and over again.

I have gained perspective that I would have been hard pressed to find otherwise.

I don’t know what my life would have been like without her precedent, but I’m so glad that I’ll never have to find out.

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Nathan and I got to know each because our cubicles were right next to each other for four years before Covid. Over that time, he has taught me so much - the most significant lessons being these two.

Lesson N-1: Being unselfishly happy for others is the best way to be.

“Good for you.”

The majority of times that I have heard that phrase uttered in the past, it was said in a facetious manner.

Nathan says it with the most pure intentions every single time. He is genuinely happy for others.

Not only that, when someone shares a success, I have never once heard him attempt to “one-up” that person. No bragging on his own accomplishments or trying to bring the attention to himself. He is the ultimate hype man.

It is incredible.

I think I’m a pretty selfish person. For most of my life, I have prioritized my own endeavors while not being particularly supportive (at worst, super jealous) of others when they found success.

Over the last five years of our friendship though, by slowly following his example (I can be dense at times so these lessons can take time), my life has changed.

I have found more internal joy.

Many of my relationships have deepened.

And, surprisingly, I have actually found more success myself as I realized we are all on our own journeys and the world is not a fixed pie.

How lucky I am for this lesson so early in life.

Lesson N-2: Don’t judge a book by its cover. It is simply bad practice.

There’s the old adage to not judge a book by its cover, but I know that there have been so many times where I have done the complete opposite.

Based on our personalities and interests, Nathan and I should not have become friends - even more so become as close as we have.

When we met:

• I was uptight and rigid - he was free-flowing and a bit crazy.
• I preferred game night at home - he was a music festival regular.
• I had such thin-skin - he rolled with the punches.

But once we got below the surface and started discussing things that actually matter, we realized that we are similar in ways that are way more important - our values and outlook on life.

It didn’t matter if we spent our recreational time differently. It didn’t matter if our friend groups interacted in different ways. It didn’t matter if our backgrounds were so different.

Those things don’t tell you all you need to know about a person.

As a matter of fact, I am actually so thankful for each of those differences.

Because of the different ways that we live our lives, he has given me a perspective that I probably would not have gotten elsewhere. I have tried things I wouldn’t have done otherwise. I see the world differently and I realize that first impressions can be grossly overrated.

He has taught me to stop being so damn judgmental because the most beautiful friendships can come from he most unexpected places.

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All that to say, thank you so very much, Amanda and Nathan.

Thank you for being a part of my life. Thank you for changing my life for the better.

I am looking forward to many more years of friendship and I love you, both ❤️