Our Energy is Contagious - For Better or Worse

Poison ivy is contagious. Colds are contagious. Heck, I think that yawning and sneezing are contagious too.

Those all make complete sense to me as to how they can pass from person to person.

Over the last few years though, I have started realizing that our energy and our vibes are contagious as well.

Being raised in the Western world (the US in particular), with two Math & Stat Professor parents to boot, science, logic, and reason were larger parts of my upbringing than mythical forces and energy. My parents have a strong faith that they have passed along to both my sister and me, but I largely compartmentalized that area of my life from the formal schooling that I had.

Over the years though, I have started paying more attention to the energy that I am putting out to the world - my aura, if you will. Though invisible to the eye (well, at least my eyes), the effects of the energy that I share are very much evident in the physical world. Probably because we humans are such social creatures, more often than not, what I give is the same as what I receive.

When I spread joy, love, and excitement, the other person often returns the favor in some capacity. This virtuous cycle leaves me feeling more energized, more thankful, and more likely to pass along more of that good juju to the next person with whom I interact.

But it works the other way as well - unfortunately, it may be even more contagious that direction.

A quick story

Last year, I did the 21 Day No Complaint Challenge with one of my friends (we recorded a podcast episode about it that you can find on Apple Podcasts here and Spotify here). It was during that challenge that I realized how often often I really was complaining in a day - it had become automatic. Because of this challenge, my complaining went from 100 to 0 in a matter of weeks. It was one of the most impactful, positive changes of my life. But, as can happen without constant maintenance, the strength of good habits can start to wane.

Fast forward to last weekend.

Upon arriving in Cabo, I found out that there was not any internet in our room (the subject of the upcoming chapter of my weekly Museletter which you can check out here) and, though I’m sad to admit it, I let out numerous complaints to my family about the situation. I inundated them with those bad vibes about a situation that, at the end of the day, was what it was.

What I noticed afterwards was truly troubling.

Though a few minutes before, we had been in high spirits since we arrived safely after a long travel day, the mood had soured and there appeared to be more things wrong with the situation. I had only complained about one particular thing, but that had caused an immediate spread to three other people about a variety of other topics.

Thankfully, that string of negative energy ended after the night of sleep, never to surface for the rest of the trip, but it was a powerful lesson to me of the power of even a few sentences.

I’ve reflected on that event for quite some time this week with this main question:

Why is negative energy so contagious?

Note: This is only a hypothesis based on my own experiences so please do take what I say with a grain of salt and a heavy dose of skepticism.

When negativity spreads from one person to another, it does not require much from the various parties - all it requires is a living host that is willing to let it in. When we want to connect with other people, commiserating on our lot in life is the lowest hanging fruit since so many of us have built the habit to look for the bad or what is missing from a situation.

Compare that to spreading good energy.

I think the latter requires:

A certain vulnerability - a vulnerability to be seen as naive by others. After all, the news constantly reminds us that this world is a terrible place, right? 🤨
A certain humility - a humility to not be so focused on what we do not have but instead to be thankful for what has been given to us. 🤲🏾
A certain risk - a risk that the other person will not reciprocate. I would guess that the percentage of people who mirror our energy for negativity is higher than that for positivity so this would be taking the lower percentage option. 🎲

It takes more from us to take the positive path. But with more sacrifice typically comes a higher quality reward.

To me, the rewards are a deeper, more genuine connection with others, a more hopeful outlook on life that allows me to create more, and more joy in each minute that I get to live. Well worth the cost of entry.

The words that we say have their own power, but the energy that we place behind them amplifies their effect, for better or worse. That effect affects quite literally every person with whom we interact with and more.